I thought I was a strong person and can handle any situation without shedding tears, at least I can cover up my feelings and have them deep inside myself but today I have been proved wrong, I am not a strong person who can handle situations bravely. I came to know about this only after the very bad news which hit my ears hard, my grandma passed away. Don’t think we were best grandmother and granddaughter combo, we had hardly spent time together. I only know about her character how my parents narrated her to be, even she wasn’t close to my father, he loves his father more. She was a very silent lady who doesn’t hurt others feeling. She was not an ordinary mother who takes care of her kiddos by helping them with their school chores, helping them grow up knowing about the new world around them, she can’t even cook, literally she doesn’t know to cook. She managed somehow with the help of maids and relatives. All that she knew was farming, she did that fantastically for the past 50-60 years. I remember my mom used to say when she was pregnant my grandma accompanied my parents to Kolkata where my father have been working, during those time only available channel in television was Doordarshan in which they used to see Hindi movies and series and grandmother who wasn’t aware of this language used to translate it to my mother by seeing the picture, my mother will listen to her sarcastically. My grandmother is a typical South Indian village grandma who used to wear a “dollak” (big earring worn by old ladies) and village style ankle length saree, people over there in Kolkata used to see her with amusement and some guys used to shake that dollak while walking across her. These are some of the very first memories that pops up in my mind while I think of her. After returning back to our hometown a decade ago we used to visit my grandmother very often . I consider herself as my lucky mascot, before and after every semester examination I will come up and meet her, I have never confessed it to anyone. Now I’m gonna write my fourth Sem exam and she is gone, I ll definitely miss her for the next four semesters too. She got very sick only after starting my sister’s marriage talks. She had been sick for 8 solid months and our visit too increased. But she assured my father by saying that she will definitely live up until my sister’s marriage and also asked us to continue the work, but she failed to keep up her words, she is gone 28 days before my sister’s marriage, all the struggles gone utter waste, she should have lived for one more month, fate doesn’t work as we wish. Her death news reached us when we were selecting invitation cards for my sister’s marriage, the first call was saying that she was in a critical condition, I prayed to god terribly to make her live and after some 15 minutes the very worse news came….it was one very bad day. We reached our village by 1:30 am leaving back my sister and my little cousin at home. First I tried to be brave and composed but after seeing my father burst out, I started to cry like a dumbo. My father who dint had any 
expression after seeing her dead body and some 20 minutes later he started crying like a baby and I overtook him by crying for two full hour continuously and at last he got the courage to consoled me…..miss her and her voice…..and now we have marriage works too to look after….don’t know what’s gonna happen and in a week there is my very close cousin’s marriage too to attend. God is testing us a lot for the past one month as we have lots of confusions in my sister’s marriage itself and today is my amma appa’s wedding day too, they are in our village right now for post funeral rituals 🙁 RIP appaatha. God give us strength.
