Each and every creature on earth has its reason for birth….no one is useless….you’ll come to know the reason of your birth…..This thought has always been in my mind, whenever my parents look at me like a filthy piece of shit…..
My mother….well she is the greatest mother of all, she dint’t go to job for our well being, she has all the good qualities that a child loves to see in a mother….she is someone like whom we used t0 see in movies but equivalently she is an annoying person…..I don’t know how to say it…..Maybe because of this adolescent age I think I feel so of her……I’m basically a Karnatic singer and its all because of her….her efforts, her patience to develop my talent…..right from a very young age I used to sing, so she thought I would become a great singer and so she sent me to all these classes and I was genuinely interested in singing….I even joined many classes like dance, keyboard, yoga etcetera etcetera as a kid, after few days or months I will lose interest and I ll stop going to these classes…..I think its my nature I wont withstand with something for too long……but SINGING is something different it was always there with me…..I finished diploma in fine arts at the age of 15….. I willing graduated from that music school…..even my mother suggested to give it a break for sometime as I have to appear for board examination whereas I was very determinant….then she left it to my wish……I make them proud by singing well…I did two arangettram……the problem always starts when we grew up…these mothers have the habit of showing off to their relatives and neighbours that their kids are well versed in this and that, which we eventually hate as we grew up…..I hate singing in front of someone unknown aunties …..she wants me to be famous…….then came all these reality shows, in which I don’t have a bit of interest but this mother of mine will force me to participate….however I will find numerous ways out…..she’ ll get tired of me….and I ll escape…….its not like I don’t want to sing…..I ll sing when I feel like….I ll perform in stage when I’m confident enough….
As I entered high school the habit of reading books became vigorous….at first my mother was happy that I’m reading books….its a good habit and nobody blames it…..I inculcated this habit via my grandfather…..he is voracious reader, I’m not much of it…..when I start reading a book I wont leave until I finish it off…..plus I wont help my mom in kitchen which she hates to the most….and at last she hates me reading or buying books…..one day I told her that I want to become an author….she was exhausted….as she knew its like a passing cloud, after sometime I will forget and lose interest about it…..there is a creative writing course in IGNOU which I always wanted to join but for that, minimum age is 20….I had been waiting for 4 years to turn 20……now 2 months to go….hopefully I think I’ ll join it with the help of Appa. I don’t know whether I’m serious about it or not…..maybe I ll laugh at this post after some years or maybe proud that, I did it…..
There is lots of dream within me, few I used to tell, many I used to hide……I have 2 more years to decide my life, my dream…..but still I want to do something within this two years….do I need do something that makes my mother happy by taking singing seriously or give a try to my dream……or just focus on my studies and get into some core company as my father likes…….or ” this last one is very easy…let things happen for itself….all I need to do is wait and put some effort”…thats what I’m gonna do
Hope that the reason of my birth will eventually rise up……
